Ponderings

She said: I am going to ponder my circumstances.
He said: If you truly ponder your circumstances you will need to pat your stomach and laugh out loud.
She said: True.

Mood: Happy. No, very happy.

Dec 2008:

December 13-1 am: See fire trucks outside, send good wishes to people who have the fire. Good wishes come and slap me on my face when I realize the firemen are actually running towards my apartment. Go out to investigate because it still seems surreal, none of the fire alarms are going off. Realize the building is burning and need to go back to the apartment to get my laptop. While people are running outside, I run inside to get my laptop- get made fun of in the news- http://www.sltrib.com/ci_11225303?source=rss bedroom is full of smoke by the time I get there so leave laptop and back-up drive.

December 13 11 am: Fire is under control but building not safe to enter.

December 14: 11 am: Get escorted to the apartment; realize things are out of place, stuff is missing, no burned laptop, no backup drive, no jewelry. The building was robbed last night. Thank you Murphy.

Later-

Take home exam was burned too, beats the dog ate my homework excuse.

Had my house burned but who cares lets eat pizza and bitch party.

Had my house burned but it still Christmas party.

Used the-my house burned excuse one too many times.

Realize I have the best of friends in the world. Thank you Shaili, Anurag, Sharanya, Aditi, Ken, Josh, Harsh Varun, Jodi, Allison, Mark and the many others who helped me without even knowing me. Thank you for offering to help everyone.

Realized I have the most awesome advisor and committee in the world!

2008 was awesome and Happy New year everyone!

Gypsy Dreams

First you hurt a lot, but that passed. Then you were sore spot, causing me flashes of lightning pain as I accidentally brushed over you.

You were then my battle scar, from life. Now as you fade away quietly, I am glad you are healed, but I also think I am going to miss you.

Letting go of a scar isn’t supposed to be sad?

Find me a memory…

As I drive down from the airport and look at the mountains I smile.

That’s all. They make me smile. Thank you.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Do you have a plan? Not so much.

You know how you don’t have a plan? How you fake it when people ask you what you want to do in 5 years. You say things like, I want to go to France. You don’t do anything about it, it just lies there; this thought that maybe someday France.

And then it happens. This door, that you did not know existed, just pops up out of nowhere. And now you say, I have to learn French.

Song: Piano Man- Billy Joel.
Sang this at the tavernacle last Thursday. Nice nice!

Amusings

Twenty years later.

I am glad I spelled hippopotamus right that summer day.

On cooking

If it has chicken and green beans, I’ll eat it.

On books

If it doesn’t say anything stupid in the first 20 pages, I’ll read it.

On booze

If it's free…

Adios !

So now we know what side you are on. Actually the fact that there will be sides in this issue was news to me, but it's all good.
:-)

For the English speaking readers:
Update:
Has been a busy last couple of days. Am single again, so thats new and scary and new.

Have a cat called Sweet Tea in my house. He is so not sweet.

Have done everything I was supposed to do before I could get the tattoo, but it doesn't seem like such a great idea now.

School starts in a couple of days, so hurrampph!!!

Oh the tragedy of being responsible.

Want	Will get
Recliner New shoes Extended cable Maroon 5 tickets Netfix extended membership LA Galaxy tickets	New windshield for the car Car Insurance Groceries Electricity Bill Public Library LA Galaxy tickets *giggle*

A girl's got to do, what a girl's got to do.

Random

I wake up with a sinking feeling that my brain is faster when I am asleep than when I am awake.

Pray

Sometimes I pray because I know I don’t deserve everything that he has given me.

The commute

I am not really sure what I want to do with this blog. When I feel like doing something about its present state of abandonment, I am reminded of the fact that come December I will lose all my old entries from blog-city. This usually propels me to either start posting the old blog-city posts here (Sorry for not answering your comment Shirin), or dampens my mood.

In any case, here I am again.

There is a new trick in town, one more step in the effort to avoid all types of acknowledgment of other forms of life around us. First there was the newspaper, pretend you are reading the news paper and hope no one will smile or talk to you. Then the cell phone, call your voicemail and listen to your old messages. The iPod, plug those speakers in and you don’t have to listen to the bus driver greeting you on the bus, or even acknowledge him. Add a pair of dark glasses and you are set for life baby. This eliminates all possibilities. So you have now eliminated even the slight chance that you may meet someone’s eye on the road and have to smile at them.

I loved my iPod, till the point that it started to make me deaf. But I am not a big fan of listening to the iPod when I am walking around, on the bus, or jogging. I like to hear background noises, when I am jogging or walking I like to hear the birds. Also I like greeting people and hearing what they say.

Why are people so against smiling at or greeting a stranger that they have to go to these extremes?

I guess my travel time is really small, if I needed to travel for an hour every day I would have these on too. I doubt it.

Living the Deam

I always knew that I would love living alone. And now that I have for quite a while now, my mother knows it too. It scares her, I should scare me too I guess.

I love being able to hear my thoughts, I love being able to listen to music when I want to. Being able to breathe deeply, to read without interruptions, to look at the stars, to think. To live without hearing someone else’s voice, without sharing my space with someone else. I can’t stand to have someone around me for a long time. It’s not like I do bizzare stuff while I am alone (like walk around naked; case in point P) I do mundane things, like work on the computer, read a book. And when I am doing these boring things in my room and you do happen to walk by, even quietly; I will consider it an intrusion. I have seen that if I don’t get to spend a significant amount of time alone, I turn into a raging ogre in a few days. No kidding. And that should scare me. It doesn’t. What scares me are people who can’t stand to be alone.

The Box

When she first got it, she wasn’t very happy. It fact, she did not quite understand her mother's vehement request that she keep the box.

It was a jewel box, a small box resembling a dressing table; with three drawers. You could hold it comfortably in the palm of your hand. Inside the box, within each drawer, were pieces of jewelery. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets made of glass, stones and metal; the treasure of a 9 year old girl. Her sister. Every time she opened the box and saw the pieces of jewelery, which were kept thoughtfully on a bed of cotton, her heart broke a little. She could see her sister’s small hands as she played with the jewelery. She could imagine her sister’s impish smile as she posed in front of the mirror and twirled. She could feel the anger and the pain growing in her heart as she remembered that her sister was not with them anymore. She could feel the guilt growing inside her as she told herself that she had no right to this box, no right to this pain; as she told herself that others were being so brave. She hid the box.

Two years later.

The beautiful young woman sits at the coffee house waiting for her friends. A soft smile lights her face as she strokes and kisses her bracelet. It still hurts. That, she knows will never go away. She is trying to get over the guilt she feels about hurting so, when she knows other people hurt more. She goes home to open the box again. She sheds a few tears but these are happy tears, born out of the knowledge that she was blessed to have once known an angel.

Feeling guilty about not calling her aunt enough, she dials her number.

music: Wake me up when september ends ( Greenday)

Scene Two-Screwed*

Him:“So, what are you going to do now?”

Her: “Laughing like a madman is a possibility. Screaming like a banshee is another"


*Screwed- completely mishandle or mismanage a situation.Completely.

I Woke up in between,a memory and a dream

A mob attacked the city hospital, breaking all the equipment, hurting doctors and patients. They were the supporters of a local goon, who succumbed to injuries earlier in the day. Went to the city hospital to discover the extent of damage caused by the mob. Discovered that the mob also attacked the dead bodies in the hospital. Dead people.

Pessimism-4

Hope-0

A friend, whose father died in kargil, called. The house which was allotted to her family, after the war, is unlivable. One wall is about to fall.

Pessimism-1

Hope-0

Grandmother fell down the stairs, hurt her hip. This is her fourth operation in two years, she was operated on last month too.

Pessimism-1

Hope-0

Found out that the next exam is a killer. Nobody is sure about what the professor plans to give in the exam. Sadistic laughter is heard from the department office.

Mood: Morbid

A dog sleeps in the middle of the college road, while kids angle their vehicles around him.

Flowers blooming in the garden.

Grandmother is singing again.

Sunrise.

Men and women make a human chain to save the doctors from the mob.

Over all tally:

Hope: 27

Pessimism: 6

Earnest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I believe the second part.-se7en

Scene One

Him:" You're acting like a pigheaded boar!"
Her: "Isn't that redundant?"

She ducks the flyng pen.

Roommate Musings

My mess, your mess: You develop this almost supernatural ability to distinguish between the messes that you created and those created by the roommate.

Food: You learn to serve ½ of the food available in your plate. The quantity of food is not an issue here. You may finish it in ten days; serve it in one go or it may be lost forever.

Not coming home to an empty house is a great. Coming home to a hot cup of tea and a good listener is a blessing. Not being in a relationship with that person is a miracle.

Shopping buddy: Shopping buddy who reminds you that rent has not been paid while you both cry outside Ann Taylor.

Language development: Improving Hindi skills, all comments about people are strictly in Hindi. “Vo Lal Kapde pehnee admee ko dekho”

Sharing Rent and bills: Yeah baby!