It was just that the time was wrong

The delicate strands, formed out of bizarre coincidences, consequences of perfect timing and a testament of the ridiculous inconsistency of human nature.

I am inclined to leave it at that. But people already suspect that I am crazy.

I like to think that accidental happenings which later became important in my life were a sort of sign. Our lives would be so different if we were in a different place on the day that we met our lover. If I were in a different place ? If I had already been in relationship? If I was not feeling almost lonely? If I was not ready to feel vulnerable?

How many relationships have gone by us just because the time was wrong?

I like to think that knowing the person a little gives us control over the relationship.Relationships and human nature is ridiculous, a great friend can make a frightful boyfriend. A great son could be a awfull father.

Why I am a different person in college and at home scares me sometimes.

5 Questions

Do you think your looks have helped you?

They have certainly made a difference, but I can’t say always to my benefit. HOD’s have been known to flunk me because I am who I am and look like I do.

What would you change about your life?
Nothing much, I like me and what happened to me is a part of who I am. I am only twenty one, no regrets yet.

I wish I had read Steinbeck sooner though.

What is the one thing that attracts you to a person?

I can’t really think of one thing, it could be anything. Their general demeanor, eyes, the way people laugh, the music that they listen to.

Why do you dislike talking about yourself?

It’s a devious scheme, I love talking about myself and act like I don’t and then people want me to talk about myself and everyone is happy.

Why do you overreact when you hear about parents trying to stay together for the sake of their children?

Ah, I don’t overreact. I believe that when your parents do not love each other the kids can sense that and they feel insecure. If by staying together the parents are bringing out the worst in each other, it can’t be good for the kids.

Wish you were here

posted 27-Jun-2004, Sunday

“Why does God make nani cry?” my 4-year-old cousin asked me. My grand mom was praying and crying at the same time.9th July is the first death anniversary of my cousin sister Saumya. She was 10. For the past week the whole family has been recalling what happened this time last year. It took me a long time to realize that my cousin sister was really gone. Sure ,I cried for days when it happened. But it was surreal. This can’t really be happening, she can’t really be gone? One night I was just thinking about the last time I met her, about how her small hand had fit perfectly into mine and of how we were walking down the road in front of her house and talking about how our brothers were really all goofy. I was reliving the whole scene in my head and I couldn’t remember which hand it was that she was holding or how it felt to hold her. I broke then. I thought about how selfish I was and how I had forgotten this detail about my little sister. I thought I would go on forgetting some little detail about her. I was wrong. I will cherish those precious moments I spend with that angel and my kids will know what a totally amazing mausi they had.

Song: Tears in heaven

I Hate Mangoes!

posted 21-Jun-2004, Monday

What is the deal with people and mangoes? Why is it so hard for anyone to believe that someone cannot like mangoes? I hate mangoes. They make me cringe. After I am forced to eat one( in my family everybody loves mangoes ..That’s cool with me but the idea that I don’t like mangoes does not register. I think their brain is not ready to process the fact that some people do not like mangoes.) Haan so after I am forced to eat one I am left with an awfully sweet taste and minute mango fibers stuck between all my teeth. And you would think that this only lasts for a few months and it would be worse if I dint like bananas which are somehow available throughout the year …get this my dad goes to Bangalore a lot and every time he goes he gets a basket full of mangoes. We actually had mangoes in February once.